Conflicting love languages are great for your relationship - here’s why
We all know that communication is key, particularly when it comes to life with our romantic partners. However, things can get a little tricky when our love languages don’t quite line up as we think they should. Whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch, the ways we express and receive love vary. More often than not, our love languages won’t match our partner’s, but that doesn’t have to spell the end for your relationship.
In fact, identifying and embracing your different love languages will lay the foundation for a deeper, stronger connection between you and your partner.
There is no right or wrong way to express and receive love - each of the 5 languages is equally valid. Your particular preferences can be attributed to a variety of influences, some obvious and others more subtle, in your early life and upbringing. Perhaps your family wasn’t big on hugs or saying “I love you”. Naturally, you may have grown up paying little mind to physical touch or words of affirmation as means to express and receive love, as you most likely experienced it in other ways. Your partner’s background may have been the opposite, filled with hugs, kisses and verbal declarations of love. So, when one of you would prefer a cuddle to the bunch of flowers you received, or hearing “I love you” doesn’t mean as much to you as an offer to pick up the kids when you’re flat-out at work, it’s important to remember we’re different people with different needs. Where you and your partner can make it work, however, is with communication.
In order to talk about your love languages with your partner, you need to know what they are! For some of us, it’s a no-brainer, but if you haven’t narrowed them down yet, now is the time to do so. Ask your partner to pick theirs too. If it helps to visualise them, write your languages down and see how they square up. Maybe you share one in common but differ in another, or perhaps you’re completely different when it comes to love. Either way, you’re going to make it work! Once you know what your partner is looking for to feel loved, it’s time to actively express your love for them in these ways. It may feel scary or unnatural at first, but stick with it and they’ll appreciate you all the more for it. The same goes for them; once they know your languages they can begin to make time to send you that loving text that makes you smile, or book a movie night for some quality time together.
After some time of loving your partner the way they want to be loved, your newfound expression will feel second nature and your relationship will be enriched because of it. All of a sudden, you’ve built new avenues for love to enter your lives and be shared with your special someone. New opportunities to show and receive love appear in abundance, and your communication as a couple strengthens daily. This is the beauty in what at first glance seemed to be a challenging conflict of personality.
Love languages are an insightful means of improving self-expression and communication with our partners, but they are by no means a hard-and-fast indicator of compatibility. With a little talking and a little more action, we can transform our differences into a diverse and exciting partnership.
If words of affirmation or receiving gifts are important love languages for you or your partner, why not check out NoteCube! A beautiful, engraved wood box filled with personalised messages and photos, this loving gesture is perfect for capturing your memories in a gift to treasure forever. What’s more, even if words aren’t your strong suit but you know your partner would love them, NoteCube’s handy tools will generate note suggestions based on your partner’s qualities. Get inspired and start creating yours, here.